Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:08] Hey, friends. Welcome back to another weekday podcast. This is Bobby, and today's episode is about something that might seem like a contradiction at first. How to remember and still forgive. But forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting. It actually means remembering, but doing it in a new way. Now, chances are you've heard the phrase forgive and forget. Now, that sounds tidy. It even sounds spiritual. But here's the problem. Your brain does not forget pain that easily. It would be great if we could do that. But your brain doesn't forget it. And honestly, your heart doesn't either. In other words, when someone wounds you deeply, it actually carves a groove into your memory. And sometimes you revisit that place not because you want to, but because something small triggered it. It could be a conversation, a song, sometimes even a scent or a holiday.
[00:00:54] And suddenly you find yourself back in that moment where your chest tightens, your stomach drops, and you wonder, have I really forgiven them if I'm still feeling this? And so I just want to pause there for a second.
[00:01:06] Here's a reminder. Forgiveness is not amnesia.
[00:01:11] God doesn't ask us to erase our memory. He asks us to let him redeem it. Think about Jesus after the resurrection. He appeared to the disciples with scars still showing. He didn't erase the marks of the cross. Instead, he transformed them. They became proof not of death, but of victory.
[00:01:29] And that's similar to forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't erase your past. It changes how you carry it. Let me take it one step further. In Genesis 50, Joseph's story reaches this powerful moment. After all the betrayal, the slavery, the false accusations, the years in prison, he's face to face with the brother who sold him out.
[00:01:48] They're terrified he's going to get revenge. But Joseph says something really astonishing. He says in Genesis 50, verse 20, you intended to harm me, but God intended it for good, the saving of many lives. Joseph remembered everything, but he remembered it through the lens of what God did next. And that's forgiveness. That's healing. So how do you start remembering differently? Let me walk you through three ways that you could practice what I call redemptive remembering. Number one, name the moment. But don't build a monument. You don't need to pretend it didn't happen. You can say it out loud, you can write it down, but don't camp there. Don't let that moment define your whole story. Instead, write a second paragraph. Here's what God is doing now. Even if it's messy, even if the healing is still in process, man, you can name it and move forward. Forgiveness is telling the whole truth without letting pain have to Final word Number two Refuse to rehearse the scene.
[00:02:43] You can't always stop the thought from showing up, but you can choose what to do when it does show up. When the scene replays, try this to pause, to breathe, to say, God, I remember this, but I give it back to you. Instead of reliving it, you can relocate it from your heart to your hands into the hands of our Savior. Romans 12:19 says, do not take revenge. Leave room for God's judgment or his justice.
[00:03:07] Sometimes I believe forgiveness means trusting that God saw it all and he knows how to deal with it better better than you do. Number three Turn the pain into prayer. Turn the pain into prayer. What if the next time you remember, instead of spiraling, you prayed, you pray for the person who hurt you. You pray for your own heart to stay soft. You pray that the story becomes someone else's healing. Like pray, turn that pain into prayer. Because this shifts your mind from being a victim to actually being a vessel that God can use you. You're not just someone who went through something. You're someone God is bringing through something. And every single time you remember and pray, you're transforming the memory from a wound into a witness. So I'll leave you with this final thought. Forgiveness doesn't erase the past.
[00:03:53] It invites God into it. And once God steps into your memory, it becomes more than a painful place. It actually becomes holy ground, a place where resurrection begins. I hope this is helpful for you. Please spread the word of the weekday podcast. Follow us on social media, on Facebook and Instagram and all the places. And you can always swing by weekdaypodcast.com to catch the back catalog of these episodes. Have a great day. We'll see you back here soon.
